Welcome to Hackensack, Minnesota a.k.a. The Worst Place on the Earth.
In French Camp your entire life changes. Say goodbye to “real” food, air conditioning, plumbing, and most of all English.
In my two weeks at French Camp I lost 10 pounds. Have you ever had flavorless yogurt? I have. At every meal. I take that back, I only ate the yogurt once, I had one spoonful, one the first night. That one spoonful of flavorless yogurt was enough for a lifetime. I thought I would like French food. I was wrong. Instead I ate one piece of bread every day. It was the only editable thing in French Camp.
The plumbing did not work in French Camp. The toilets…never mind I do not want to talk about the toilets. Too horrifying and graphic.
Showering at French Camp was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. At French Camp you do “group” showers. In “group” showers proper etiquette is to wear a swimsuit. Let’s just say my counselors did not follow proper “group” shower etiquette.
In Hackensack, Minnesota the average temperature in July is 80 degrees to 95 degrees. I think, normal camps would have air conditioning in at least one building by 21st century, not French Camp. NO AIR CONDITIONING. I will never take air conditioning for granted ever again.
Most of all, at French Camp there was no English. Zip, Zilch, Nada. NONE. NO ENGLISH. No translating. Only French. Try two weeks of not understanding a word anyone is saying to you.
I would not wish a trip to French Camp on my worst enemy.
What I learned from French Camp? To be completely honest, I learned how to say “hello” and I learned all the colors. That all.
At French Camp those who could not speak French bonded together in common hate of the counselors. By the end of the last week we could get any counselor to give us the food we wanted and respond to us in English. The power of threatening to sue for child abuse.
Never go to French Camp. Unless, you want an easy way to loose 10 pounds. Honestly, I would rather run 10 marathons consecutively than go back to French Camp.
YOU ARE WELCOME.
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