Oscar!!!

What is the big deal with NASCAR? Seriously, I can drive fast around a track in Sensai. NASCAR is like track,just you are watching moving objects move around a circle. I really do not see what is so exciting about NASCAR and track. 

I have started a relationship with Mr. Goodbar. HOW HAVE I NOT ATE THESE BEFORE??? I have eaten ten in the last five minutes. That cannot be healthy.

The Oscars on Sunday were amazing. I am a little bummed that The Artist won best picture. I do not see what is so great about silent movies. We are in the future. We use sound.

I personally think Michelle Williams was best dressed. She worked the red carpet. Angelina Jolie had a great dress but her pose was a little bit scary. The Girl in the Dragon Tattoo....I cannot think of her name...but she is the girl with the dragon tattoo. Anyway her dress was beautiful. It tots fit her haircut. Finally, Jessica Chastain looked amazing in the Alexander Mequeen. If I went to the Oscars, I would where what Jessica Chastain wore.

UPDATE: Ryan Gosling did not take me to the Oscars. :( 

Now that I am done with fashion, I thought Billy Crystal did a fantastic job. But what really stole the show was Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis. There presentation was hilarious. Robert Downey Jr. was amazing as usual, he never disappoints. 

When Tom Cruise walked on stage to present for Best Picture, I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds. Tom Cruise is the definition of a four. Christmas Card problems. 

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Twitter @BloggingBrooke

Question???? SEND ME YOUR PROBLEMS. I will solve them. brooketheblogger@aol.com

Poll Results.

THE POLL RESULTS ARE IN.

Drum roll please???

Cue the trumpets.

Belly dancers, start dancing.


Bruce Jenner is everyones favorite Kardahian!!! That is funny, he is not even a "Kardashian" he is just on the show.

SOLVING THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS SATURDAY!!!!!

SOLVING THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS SATURDAY

I have not done a SOLVING THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS SATURDAY on a Saturday in a long time. I figured if I did not start doing this segment on Saturday it would defeat the purpose of the name.

PROBLEM 1) Jimmy Johns not getting to my house fast enough. Jimmy Johns advertises that they have "Freaky, Fast, Delivery" . When I watch the Jimmy Johns commercial I expect my sandwich to be delivered to me, just as fast as the commercial. IT TOOK THEM 25 MINUTES last time I ordered. As far as I am concerned, Jimmy Johns is false advertising. I am disappointed. 

PROBLEM 2) Sophomores cannot go to prom. NOT COOL. This is age discrimination. What just because I am a sophomore means I can't go to prom??? I think that is unconstitutional if you ask me. Someone should take this to court. I will testify and look really official, I can cry on cue BTW. Anyway back on topic, sophomores should be able to go to prom. Also I think I should be prom queen. VOTE FOR BROOKE.

PROBLEM 3) Lack of interfering in Syria. Okay Russia and China get a F for caring about other countries. They care more about themselves, making money then interfering with oppression in Syria. I say everyone boycotts Russia and China. How do we do this? I do not really know. I am going to start with not buying anything made in China. This is going to be hard. And I am going to stop eating Russian food. I need to keep eating Chinese food; to keep my grades up because MSG and rice are seriously brain food.

GUESS WHO GOT SENSAI BACK???? THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE. Yep, Brooke's torture is over. Brooke is no longer grounded. WAHOOOOO!!!!!!! Brooke has her driving privileges back!!!!! In other words, drive if you dare. 

I am jumping for joy. THE OSCARS ARE TOMORROW. I probably will not sleep tonight. I literally cannot contain my excitement. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Ryan Gosling are all going to be in the same room.That is a lot of fives in the same room. I do not think that many fives have ever been in the same room before. I think I feel faint. You should all read my Oscar predictions blog!!! I bet, I got them all right. Actually, I would not bet on myself.

HAVE A GREAT OSCAR SUNDAY!!!! Who knows, word on the street is Ryan Gosling needs a date to the Oscars and I am free tomorrow. 

Look for Ryan and I tomorrow!!! 

I wish.

No seriously, I might be Ryan Gosling's date.

He might read this blog.

Therefore, I might be his date.

I am not giving up hope.

YOU ARE WELCOME. 

QUESTIONS??? brooketheblogger@aol.co,

TWITTER!! @BloggingBrooke 

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!!

Do you believe in love at first sight? No. I believe in lust at first sight. For example, when I saw Ryan Gosling for the first time, I started naming our children and picking out wedding colors. Black and White by the way.

Coke or Pepsi? Neither, I prefer slushies. I cannot get enough of artificial flavoring.

If your friend is dating someone who is obviously not good enough for them, what do you do? I would not come out and say " He is not good enough for you" I would let your friend bring it up, and subtly tell them how you feel.

Do you think you will ever run out of topics? As long as I keep watching Inside Edition and keep coming across stupid people, I promise you, Your Daily Dose of Brooke will always be here.


What do you think of the Facebook trend, "Truth Is"? Facebook has some horrible trends. The "Truth is" is the definition of lame. "Truth is, I don't know you, but I bet your cool!" The lameness is just oozing from that statement. My message to anyone who does "Truth is" please stop this madness. If you want to tell someone the truth, say it to their face. I promise you, talking is not a tough as it looks.

Have you read the Hunger Games? No. I got some response to my Hunger Games comments. I have decided I will read ONE Hunger Games book. If I am hooked I will take back my statements, but HARRY POTTER STAND ALONE, you cannot compare the Hunger Games to Harry Potter.

That is all for YOUR ASKED IT THURSDAY!!! EMAIL QUESTIONS TO brooketheblogger@aol.com

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Less than 20 hours to vote in the Your Favorite Kardashian Poll!!!! VOTE.

I am grounded.

I am a horrible criminal. This weekend Brooke was grounded. For the first time is five years. No I did not steal a car or get in a fight. I am not that cool.

My parents rules for driving is I am not allowed to drive anyone around. Brooke, made the mistake of sending a text message to a friend of what time Brooke would pick her up. But alas someone *cough* me, sent the message to my mother INSTEAD of my friend. Oops. 

In the end, my driving privileges have been taken away. So in other words, IT IS SAFE FOR ALL OF YOU TO DRIVE. Go forth, and drive. 

What I have learned from this? WATCH WHO YOU TEXT. And that I am not going to go into a career of crime. I am really horrible at being bad. If you need any rules broken do not ask me, I will probably get you caught. I am a walking tornado of bad luck.

Grounding is not that bad. I still have my phone, iPod, computer, and T.V. And I got to go to parties this weekend. My parents are really not good at grounding I hope they do not read this. O well. 

I will let you all know once I hit the road again. I honestly do not know when this torture is over. I miss Sensai though. :( 

I am psyched for the Glee episode tonight!!!! Sadly, I have to miss it. Good friends text their friends what is happening during the Glee episode. If Rachel and Finn get married I will throw a chair. I am sorry, but I really do not see what is so cute about Finn. I personally think he looks constipated half the time. And Rachel is a power woman, she should marry a five.

I just recently discovered Pandora. Pandora is my new best friend. Finally I can control the radio. I feel like a dictator...no. At least, I do not need to listen to Taylor Swift's love ballads. "Mean" and "Mine" are just getting old. WE GET IT TAYLOR SWIFT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A FIVE. Which, I can respect.

VOTE IN THE YOUR FAVORITE KARDASHIAN POLL.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Follow on Twitter! @BloggingBrooke
Questions?? brooketheblogger@aol.com

ITS MONDAY.

I am a horrible person. Not updating in three days. I am angry with myself. Not really.

I was going to do SOLVING THE WORLDS PROBLEMS MONDAY in response to not doing SOLVING THE WORLDS PROBLEMS SATURDAY but alas I did not. Solve your own problems this week.

Computers are the most annoying thing on the face of the earth. I really am getting sick of battery power. HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE A COMPUTER THAT GETS BATTERY POWER FROM THE SUN???? I mean they make flashlights that get power from the sun. All the genius's out there GET TO WORK, I will buy the computer from you. I demand 15% of profits, since I thought of it.

I refuse to read The Hunger Games. I refuse. People saying, "The Hunger Games is just as good as Harry Potter!" I shun you. I am ashamed. Harry Potter can not be compared. Harry Potter stands alone. J.K. Rowling is rolling in her grave...wait she is not dead. Awks. Okay J.K. Rowling is rolling in England in her house. Anyway I am ashamed of all you "The Hunger Games is just as good as Harry Potter people" I am going to start calling you all "Death Eaters". 

I am getting quite a few college emails. I think some of these emails qualify as harassment. One email wrote a song about me. Another email, mentioned my dog. How they learned my dogs name? I do not know.

Vote in the "Your favorite Kardashian" poll!!

I will be back tomorrow! YOU ARE WELCOME.

Follow me an Twitter @BloggingBrooke
Email questions to brooketheblogger@aol.com

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!!

IT IS YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!

If you were to suddenly meet a guy who was a 5, but he happened to be quite older than you(say, Hugh Hefner-esque), would you go after him? Love knows no age. Go for him. You might get some money out of it. :) I’m joking…maybe.

How would you recommend getting over a guy? Whoever it is obviously was not good enough for you. Go buy a bag of Doritos and go watch my new favorite movie The Notebook and after that move on with your life. Look at Oprah, she dated a guy for a bagillion years. How did she get over the break-up? She started a television network.

How would you classify women in terms of your 5-scale classification system? Women are perfect. All women are fives. Except for Rachel McAdams in The Notebook she cries too much. 

How do you spell sensei? I asked Jonathan how to spell Sensai while I was driving. He proceeded to tell me, “S-E-N-S-A-I” If Jonathan says Sensai is spelled S-E-N-S-A-I then it is spelled S-E-N-S-A-I. Merriam Webster should change the spelling, Jonathan calls the shots.

Is there anyone at Valley who is a 5? If so, who? There are several “Self Proclaimed Fives”. There is a difference between “being a five” and “becoming a five”. You can be a five, but until you speak three languages you have yet to become the five. 

If you think you are a five. Let me know. We will see.

On a side note, when I find a five, I do not tell. Why would I tell someone I found a five??? Then everyone would be after them. If you find a five, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

I have had a lot of questions about tee-shirts! Tomorrow of Saturday I will have a link to the t-shirt! 

YOU ARE WELCOME. 

Questions??? brooketheblogger@aol.com

TWITTER!! @BloggingBrooke

I just want a normal character.

I have been driving solo a week today. Sensai has already been to the shop once. :(

The Vow looks like a terrible movie. I am really not into the whole Nicolas Sparks type of movies. They are way too sappy. I mean honestly, I do not know anyone that cries as much as Rachel McAdams in The Notebook.

The problem with so many T.V. shows is, NONE OF THE CHARACTERS ARE RELATABLE. For example, Glee everyone is getting crazy on that show. No one is normal. I really just want one character that is what you call the “stereotypical teenager” The scene could start with a pan in of he/she’s face, the person speaks directly to the camera saying, “I am normal. I take average classes. I eat lunch with my friends. I walk my dog. I mow the yard. I do my homework. I just happen to be in Glee club.” THAT IS ALL I NEED. One normal character.

I had Chinese food tonight. Kinda on Cloud 9 right now. Rice seriously does something to my brain, I feel like Mark Zuckerberg right now.

I am sorry for such a short post. Tomorrow is YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!! BTW if you emailed me questions you are awesome, but please do not feel bad if I do not get to them this week. I promise your questions will be answered.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Any questions? Email- brooketheblogger@aol.con

Follow on twitter for one the second blog post updates, @BloggingBrooke

Happy Looking For Fives Day!!

HAPPY LOOKING FOR FIVES DAY!!!!!!!

I possibly sent myself flowers with the card signed with “Your five is coming”

While all of you are celebrating with your significant others I will be partying all by myself. I take that back, I will be partying with Sensai and my best friend Adele.

Today seemed like the perfect day to talk about PDA. That rhymed. My message to anyone who strangly resembles slashing eels in the hallways with your significant other: WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU AND YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE LIKE EACH OTHER, YOU DO NOT NEED TO ADVERTISE. I really do not like product placement. Come on, do you really need to make out in front of me?? No, you do not. You can get a room.

I watched The Notebook for the first time this weekend. Is it weird that I did not cry during the movie? I totally saw the ending coming. Right when I figured out that the two of them were married and the lady was losing her memory I KNEW THEY WOULD DIE TOGETHER. It was so predictable. 

I actually wanted Rachel McAdams to end up with the other guy, instead of Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling, is hot BUT THAT BEARD WAS HORRIBLE. If I was Rachel McAdams I would never go back to Ryan Gosling if he had that cave man beard.

Can I just say that romantic comedies may be so good but they are just so predictable? Don’t get me wrong I love romantic comedies but sometimes I just want them to surprise me. Maybe, the two people do not get together and instead find a different five.

Fergie’s dress at The Grammy’s was horrifying. I do not want to see Fergie’s bra. I really don’t. What is happening to fashion in music artiests. Katy Perry’s blue hair was just as bad. It seems to me that all the pop stars these days are what I call “Gaga Wannabes”. Nicki Minaji is the president of the “Gaga Wannabes” with Katy Perry as her VP.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Follow Your Daily Dose of Brooke on twitter @BloggingBrooke and send any questions for YOU ASKED THURSDAY to brooketheblogger@aol.com. 

SOLVING THE WORLDS PROBLEMS....MONDAY

I apologize for my lack of blog posts this weekend; I did not anticipate my weekend being so busy.

Because I missed SOLVING THE WORLD PROBLEMS SATURDAY I am doing a SOLVING THE WORLDS PROBLEMS MONDAY.

Problem 1) Lack of Girl Scout cookies. I do not understand why Girl Scout cookies only go on sale once a year. The Girl Scouts would make a lot more money if they sold Girl Scout cookies in grocery stores. I simply cannot get enough Tagolongs and Thin Mints.

Problem 2) The Weather. Iowa’s weather is bipolar. One second it is 60 degrees the next second it is 4 degrees and I am freezing my butt off. I just cannot deal with the rapid change in temperature. Solution: Heat the world. That is right, put space heaters everywhere. Hang space heaters from the sky. And if you want to go someplace cold go to a town that hangs air conditioners instead of space heaters. I think it is brilliant. Someone should work on that.

Problem 3) American schools falling behind. Simple solution, fire the bad teachers and keep the good teachers. These days, everyone is so sensitive about firing. Honestly, if the teacher is not producing results then why is the school district continuing to have them teach and continue to pay them??? I think it is simple, if a student has a good teacher then the student will learn and retain information better and if a student has a bad teacher the student is disengaged and does not retain the information. A Kindergartener could figure that out.

Problem 4) Microwave popcorn. I cannot make a good batch of microwave popcorn to save my life. I think someone needs to create a popcorn bag that when you push a button and it begins popping the popcorn WITHOUT A MICROWAVE. And when all the kernels are done popping the bag will open and alas you have a bag of perfect popcorn.

That is all for SOLVING THE WORLD PROBLEMS MONDAY. I will be back to my regular blogging schedule this week. YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Follow Your Daily Dose of Brooke on twitter @BloggingBrooke and email your questions to brooketheblogger@aol.com

French Camp.

Welcome to Hackensack, Minnesota a.k.a. The Worst Place on the Earth.  

In French Camp your entire life changes. Say goodbye to “real” food, air conditioning, plumbing, and most of all English.

In my two weeks at French Camp I lost 10 pounds. Have you ever had flavorless yogurt? I have. At every meal. I take that back, I only ate the yogurt once, I had one spoonful, one the first night. That one spoonful of flavorless yogurt was enough for a lifetime. I thought I would like French food. I was wrong. Instead I ate one piece of bread every day. It was the only editable thing in French Camp.

The plumbing did not work in French Camp. The toilets…never mind I do not want to talk about the toilets. Too horrifying and graphic.

Showering at French Camp was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. At French Camp you do “group” showers. In “group” showers proper etiquette is to wear a swimsuit. Let’s just say my counselors did not follow proper “group” shower etiquette.

In Hackensack, Minnesota the average temperature in July is 80 degrees to 95 degrees. I think, normal camps would have air conditioning in at least one building by 21^st century, not French Camp. NO AIR CONDITIONING. I will never take air conditioning for granted ever again.

Most of all, at French Camp there was no English. Zip, Zilch, Nada. NONE. NO ENGLISH. No translating. Only French. Try two weeks of not understanding a word anyone is saying to you.

I would not wish a trip to French Camp on my worst enemy.

What I learned from French Camp? To be completely honest, I learned how to say “hello” and I learned  all the colors. That all.

At French Camp those who could not speak French bonded together in common hate of the counselors. By the end of the last week we could get any counselor to give us the food we wanted and respond to us in English. The power of threatening to sue for child abuse.

Never go to French Camp. Unless, you want an easy way to loose 10 pounds. Honestly, I would rather run 10 marathons consecutively than go back to French Camp.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Follow Your Daily Dose of Brooke on twitter @BloggingBrooke! Email questions for YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY to brooketheblogger@aol.com. I will be back tomorrow for SOLVING THE WORLDS PROBLEMS SATURDAY.

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY.

IT IS YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!!

What is your idea of a solid Youtube video worth watching? Watch “The Face” and “When the Face Doesn’t Work” by Jenna Marbles. She is my hero. GO WATCH IT NOW.

What are your thoughts on Sporcle? Sporcle is so boring. I feel like my eyes are going to fall out of 

their sockets when I play. I would rather be looking for fives. No fives on Sporcle.

WHERE IS THE POST ABOUT FRENCH CAMP??? Coming soon. Tomorrow.

What is your ideal birthday celebration? Eating cheesecake and Dorritoes, with a five.

What do you think the government should do in response to your birthday? I am honestly offended that my birthday is not a national holiday. School should be let out early and pictures of me should be painted on the street.

Where would you rather be than school on your birthday? A museum. I know it is nerdy, but I have a thing for gift shops and exhibits. Museums are also great places to find fives.

I was supposed to answer some of those questions on my birthday, sorry person who sent the questions.

Yesterday this blog hit 2,000 views!!! Thank you to anyone who has ever read this blog.

Also, all of you should pat yourselves on the back. YOU HAVE SURIVIED THE FIRST TWO DAYS OF BROOKE DRIVING. No one has been injured yet. I just forgot to turn my headlights off. And now my Sensai is in the shop. If my car is in the shop two days after I started driving, I really do not think that is a good sign.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. French camp tomorrow. I have to mentally prepare myself for reminiscing on the horrors of the dreaded French Camp.

Looking for Fives Day!

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it is time to introduce all of you to a new holiday! February 14^th is from now on called “Looking for Fives Day”.Get pumped.

If you are like me, I celebrate "Looking for Fives Day" everyday.

Can I just say that Adam Levine is the definition of a four? He is has all the qualities to be a five BUT he is more attractive than me. :(

I watched The Voice for the first time yesterday. I honestly missed all the sucky singers. The sucky singers make me feel better about my horrid singing voice. I like to think that I have the voice of an angel.

WHY IS CEE LOW GREEN A JUDGE??? He has had ONE hit single. I do not think that makes him an expert. Making Cee Low Green a judge is like making Kim Kardashian the host of a happy marriage show.  

The Voice judges look absolutely hilarious when they are listening to the singers. If there was a bubble of their heads it would say, “I need to look smart so I will crinkle my eyebrows close my eyes.” If I were you, watch 

The Voice but DO NOT listen to the singers. Watch the judges. It is so entertaining.

I got my license today!! If you value your life, GET OFF THE ROADS. Kiss the pavement if you are alive. Brooke and Sensai are the bombs of the road.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Become a member of Your Daily Dose of Brooke! Follow Your Daily Dose of Brooke on Twitter @BloggingBrooke! Any questions about life? Email me at brooketheblogger@aol.com and I will answer them right on Thursday.

Ya Sports.

Yesterday was the SUPER BOWL. YA.

Can I just say football players need new uniforms.Seriously, their butts looked HUGE. It looked like a pillow was stuffed insidetheir uniforms. Just saying.

Wouldn’t it be funny if the football players were alltackling each other for the ball, BUT the ball was not even there? Some guycould be running with the ball and nobody would notice because they weretackling each other. That would make my day.

Football teams need more creative plays. If I was a footballcoach I would have my team burst into song. For example, my team would sing “Bornthe Way” by Lady Gaga. The opposing team would be like “WHAT??” And thensomebody could run and get a touchdown. I should coach.

If I was a football player I would be a kicker. The kickerrarely ever gets hurt. During practice the kicker does not have to run around,all the kicker has to do is kick. I would be a great kicker.

If I played basketball I would be the coach. The coach justruns around on the sidelines yelling, “PASS!!!” or “SHOOT!!!” I honestly, thinkI would be really good at that. My experience is I won 50 dollars in a MarchMadness draw. I just chose based on which school had a better name and morefives.

If I was a soccer player…I take that back I would never be asoccer player. I would have a hard time remembering not to use my hands. Iplayed soccer for half a season. I scored one goal. In the opposing teams net.Oops.

If I was a softball player I would be an outfielder. As anoutfielder I could check my phone, build sandcastles in the back, and reenactthe opening scene in The Sound of Music.I would be a legendary outfielder.

If I was a swimmer I would win. I was on the swim team inelementary school. I got first place in my first race. After that I told my momafter the race that I had “peaked” and I was done with the sport.

I almost forgot about gymnastics. I did gymnastics for eightyears. After eight years I got one thing out of gymnastics. I can do acartwheel. I honestly, think I was too talented for gymnastics. The coachesjust did not know how to coach me effectively. Also, it could have been thefact that I talked the entire practice. But, that is nothing new.

In the end, I think my potential in athletics has beenoverlooked. I could totally go to the Olympics. I would be a top contender inthe Senior Olympics. Seriously, I am too good to compete with people my ownage. The real competiton is in the senior division.

I get my license tomorrow. If I were you I would stay offthe roads. Kiss the pavement when you get home.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Follow Your Daily Dose of Brooke on twitter, @BloggingBrooke! Any questions for YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY email me at brooketheblogger@aol.com

Solving the World's Problems. Brooke Style.

Welcome to SOLVING THE WORLD PROBLEMS SATURDAY!!!

Problem one: KARDASHIAN MARRIAGE FAKE OR NOT??  I am offended that people think the Kardashian marriage was a fake. Everyone knows that Kris Humphries was a two. He plays basketball in Minnesota. Seriously, that is almost as bad as playing basketball in Iowa. No offense.

Kim Kardashian only had three dress changes for her wedding. When I find a five, I am going to have five dress changes for my wedding.

Problem two: ONLY 24 HOURS IN A DAY. These 24 hour days are incredibly inconvenient. I propose we move to 50 hour days. People could get so much more done. I know all you science people are saying, “50 hour days are not scientifically possible.” DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE DETAILS. Someone just needs to work on redesigning the standard clock.

Problem three: MAINTAINING HOMEOSTASIS. This is a huge problem. Being cold all the time is so annoying. I propose someone genius invents a pill that helps maintain homeostasis. I will endorse the pill on this blog. 

Problem four: AMERICA'S HUGE DEFICIT. It does not take a rocket scientist to realize that a government should not spend more money than the government earns. The solution is simple: SELL ALL THE NATIONAL MONUMENTS. The United States government could sell The Washington Monument. How about selling Mount Rushmore? The Lincoln Memorial could use a FOR SALE sign too!  

If you have ever been to The Lincoln Memorial you know how depressing the gift shop is. My closet is bigger than the gift shop at The Lincoln Memorial.

Our government just does not know how to run a monument. Private enterprise does. If the monuments were run by private enterprise think how awesome they would be. I guarantee that the gift shops would get so much better.

If I was president, national monuments would be FOR SALE.

That is all for SOLVING THE WORLDS PROBLEMS SATURDAY. Do not forget, KEEP CALM AND LOOK FOR FIVES.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Become a member of this blog! All you have to do is click on “Join this sight” on the top of the right column. Also follow Your Daily Dose of Brooke on twitter @BloggingBrooke for the on the spot updates.

I CANNOT WAIT TO RETIRE

I was going to do a post about French Camp but then I started writing this.

I really cannot wait to retire. I have not even held a job yet, but, I am looking forward to partying at the nursing home.

When I was in elementary school during the summer my parents dropped me off at our country club every morning and picked me up at night. My parents called it, “Semi-Free Child Care”, what great role models I have.

Anyway, back on topic. I was a member of the synchro team. You can laugh now. I worked the spandex swimming suit. During practice instead of frolicking in the water, like most of the other kids, I sat/tanned/looked for fives with the coaches and helped them through their personal drama. I was told I would make a good therapist. In reality, I just did not want to put my nose plugs on.

Along with being “child therapist” I told my coaches what I was going to do when I grew up. The list included: Traveling around the world in 79 days, salsa dancing with Anderson Cooper, earning a Oscar for…being me, paying someone to write a book under my name, marrying a five, star in my own reality TV show, host the Today Show, become the moderator of Meet the Press, sky dive with the Native Americans, buy a Golden Globe, just to name a few. In other words, I did not learn any synchro that summer.

After an entire summer of being the “child therapist” Awards Night came around. Most kids got awards for being, “Best Dancer”, “Rookie of the Year”, and “Little Fish”. I received the award for…..drum roll please…..cue the trumpets……”Most Likely to Retire Early”.

If you do not believe me, my mother framed the certificate.

Receiving the “Most Likely to Retire Early” award is hands-down my proudest moment.

At a young age I knew the workplace was not for me. I think my coaches knew me too well.

I have no intention of ever going to a nursing home. But, I do have every intention of retiring very early.

Tomorrow is SOLVING THE WORLD PROBLEMS SATURDAY. Get excited. YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Follow me on twitter @BloggingBrooke, for instantaneous updates on new posts.

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!

Today is YOU ASKED THURSDAY!!! Lots of questions this week. YA!!

1) How do you feel about the fake twitter account of our school principal? I think whoever is doing it needs a hobby. Seriously, if you make a fake twitter account THAT IS A SIGN YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO like, read my blog.  Plus, it is embarrassing to our school. One person’s actions affect the entire school.

2) What is the meaning of life? I answered this one before. It is still the same. KEEP CALM AND LOOK FOR FIVES.

3) What came first? The Chicken or the Egg? Honestly, who cares??? I would totally eat a chicken before I ate an egg. My stomach tells me chicken.

4) What do you prefer: Rap or Classical? Classical, I cannot do homework without classical music. Do not get me wrong, I adore rap. In fact, I have entitled myself, “The Next Enimen”

5) Do fives drink alcoholic beverages? I mean, wine is considered to

be classy. Right? Yes, but fives know their limit. And a five always brings a hot date, like myself to be the designated driver.

6) What languages would you like to learn in the future? None, I was sent to a two week French Immersion camp a summer ago. Ever since French Immersion camp I cannot bring myself to learn a language. French camp was traumatizing. Let’s just say I did not eat a full meal for two weeks. I lost 10 pounds. It was horrible. J’ai deteste French Camp.

I am looking for a five who knows several languages, to make up for my traumatizing expirence. Or I will just buy the iPhone app.

7) Feathered hair extensions.. yay or nay? Nay. You look like a Native American. Honestly, are you about to go to a Pow Wow?? Didn’t think so.

8) Favorite president of all time? William Howard Taft, fattest president of all time. So fat, he got stuck in the White House bathtub. The fire department had to get him out.

9) Guys who are intelligent or guys with extremely good looks? Both, I do not settle. Fives are both intelligent and hot.

10) Favorite Disney CLASSIC movie? Disney classic movies are sexist. In EVERY SINGLE MOVIE, the needy girl has to end up with a “prince” or else the damsel in distress cannot function in the world. Disney is teaching young girls, “if you do not find a prince, your life will suck”. If I had to choose a movie though, it would totally be HSM, HSM2, and HSM3. I know all the words. And Troy Bolton and I are going to get married.

 Keep emailing me questions! And follow me on twitter! You can find my email and twitter in previous blogs. 

That is all for YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!! YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Tomorrows blog is entitled, "French Camp" 

Meet Sensai.

Good shows should be on more than once a week. I do not want to have to wait an entire week to watch my favorite show. Actors and actresses already get paid a lot. I do not think it would be asking too much for there to be new show every other day.

It is time for all of you to meet my car. My cars name is Sensai (Sen-say). You know, like a Japanese master?? Sensai, is older than I am. Sensai is a horrible shade of grey. But, Sensai has a lot of character. Sensai is beautiful.

I named Sensai after my much loved drivers ed instructor, Jonathan. My partner and I asked Jonathan what he wanted to be called. He responded with Sensai. From then on, my car full of character was Sensai.

I passed drivers ed with a 76%. You need 75% to pass. I am a great driver. No joke.

Before I drive I have a mantra I like to speak out loud to myself. It goes like this: I can do it. I can do it. I am a focused driver. I am a amazing driver. Driving is easy for me. Parallel parking is a piece of cake. I am the bomb of the road. I am amazing. I can drive. I will check my mirrors. I will read all the signs. I am the best.

My mantra works. I have not gotten in a car accident yet. I have only killed two birds and two squirrels. ALL THANKS TO THE MANTRA.  R.I.P. The two squirrels and the two birds I hit. They died in combat with the great Sensay. But, they did not win.

When February 7^th rolls around if I were you, after I get home from school I would get out of the car and kiss the pavement. Because on February 7^th Brooke Beatty and Sensai are becoming the bombs of the road.

YOU ARE WELCOME.