Call me messed up. But I rank guys on a 1 to 5 scale. It is extremely effective. My ranking assures that I will never be stuck with one of the following: stalkers, alcoholics, druggies, workaholics, hobos, losers, clean freaks, closeted gays, and creeps.
After you have gotten to know guys simply just apply them to the system and you will know if he is worth your time. I will now proceed to give you the requirements to be a one, two, three, four and a five.
IF YOUR “MAN” IS A ONE:
· Someone who tried No Shave November but….it didn’t work out.
· Compare your “man” to Ron Paul. Does Ron Paul look like a supermodel next to your “man”? If so, your “man” is a one.
· If your friend asks, “So what does your boyfriend think of you? Do you have good chemistry?” and you respond with, “I don’t know…he doesn’t really talk.” That is not a good sign. Not good at all.
· Only speaks one language
· ACT score of 15 or lower. SAT score lower than 1100
IF YOUR “MAN” IS A TWO:
· Most people in high school. If the love of your life is in high school then even if he is drop dead gorgeous he is a two. The moment your “man” leaves high school I would be more than happy to reassess him.
· Put a picture of your “man” next to Ashton Kutcher with that dreadful beard he has; and if Ashton Kutcher is more attractive then your “man” behold a two.
· Speaks one language, and fluent in text. Lame.
· 3.2 GPA or lower
IF YOUR “MAN” IS A THREE:
· He is semi attractive. Think Barrack Obama.
· Average test scores
· Average job
· Average car
· No real talents
· Small group of friends
· Speaks fluently two languages
·
IF YOUR “MAN” IS A FOUR:
· Think Brad Pitt. A four is more attractive than you. That is why you aim for fives. So you can be the pretty one on the Christmas cards
· Good car
· ACT- 29-35 SAT- 2100- 2300
· Speaks fluently two languages and semi fluent in a third
· Has a big group of friends
· Funny
IF YOUR “MAN” IS A FIVE!!!!!!
· Think Prince Harry.FIVES MUST BE LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU.
· Awesome car
· ACT- 36 SAT- 2400
· Amazing job
· Fluently speaks three languages
· Gets above 80% on the name compatibility test
· Has hidden talents
· Hilarious
A quick note, not every guy in high school is a two. THERE IS ALWAYS AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. Stick to the system and you will never be stuck with one of the following: stalkers, alcoholics, druggies, workaholics, hobos, losers, clean freaks, closeted gays, and creeps. YOUR WELCOME.
