90'S KIDS UNITE

UPDATE ON MY LIFE: I did not win the lottery.

I am going to reenact 99.9% of what is said on social media sites during a rainstorm and my reaction.

“OH MY GOSH WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE” Someone help you.

“I love thunder.” You sound emo.

“Rain is so relaxing.” I bet you are doing a Native American rain dance right now.

“If I die I am leaving my dog to my grandma.” No one likes your dog.

“DID YOU SEE THAT LIGHTNING STRIKE??!!” No, I don’t believe in nature.

I am so happy that everyone in the world can tell when it’s raining. Our society has come so far.

Okay so “Iron Man 3” was a horrible movie BUT THE FIRST SONG OMG STOP I CANNOT HANDLE THE FLASHBACKS. Remember the song, “I’m blue da ba de b aba di ba da ba de ba” that was the first song of the movie. OH AND IT HAPPENED TO BE my jam in 1^st grade. 

So yeah, “Iron Man 3” was predictable and boring. I am a Robert Downey Jr. fan all day everyday but that script was so eigisddfnlkdfnlginlifndlkfnwlktnwlfndsnf. So do not go.

I will never understand why people eat yellow bananas.

Now that Summer is just around the corner, I have an issue. I need to paint my toe nails. My toes are the recreation of hell on the ten toes. I don’t know what is on them nor do I want to know, however if I want to wear cute sandals I need to get my toes together. I would go to nail salon but.....

A) no person for any amount of money should have to see my toes

 B) I am too cheap. 

So yeah, this year some people might be blinded by the horrors that make a home on my feet.

Another problem with Summer, I constantly have to shave my legs. I think all the females of the world should just stop shaving their legs. Then it wouldn't be weird if I were to walk around with a rain forest growing on my legs. Let’s make this a thing.

“HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME”

“I’m a genie in a bottle. You got to rub me the right way”

“Tell me whhhhhyyyyy??? I never wanna hear you say. I want it that way.”

“Hey now you’re an All Star”

“DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER LOVE??!!”

Welcome to the nineties. Now if you will excuse me I have a jam session with The Backstreet Boys about to 

start in my room.

YOU ARE WELCOME.