I CANNOT WAIT TO RETIRE

I was going to do a post about French Camp but then I started writing this.

I really cannot wait to retire. I have not even held a job yet, but, I am looking forward to partying at the nursing home.

When I was in elementary school during the summer my parents dropped me off at our country club every morning and picked me up at night. My parents called it, “Semi-Free Child Care”, what great role models I have.

Anyway, back on topic. I was a member of the synchro team. You can laugh now. I worked the spandex swimming suit. During practice instead of frolicking in the water, like most of the other kids, I sat/tanned/looked for fives with the coaches and helped them through their personal drama. I was told I would make a good therapist. In reality, I just did not want to put my nose plugs on.

Along with being “child therapist” I told my coaches what I was going to do when I grew up. The list included: Traveling around the world in 79 days, salsa dancing with Anderson Cooper, earning a Oscar for…being me, paying someone to write a book under my name, marrying a five, star in my own reality TV show, host the Today Show, become the moderator of Meet the Press, sky dive with the Native Americans, buy a Golden Globe, just to name a few. In other words, I did not learn any synchro that summer.

After an entire summer of being the “child therapist” Awards Night came around. Most kids got awards for being, “Best Dancer”, “Rookie of the Year”, and “Little Fish”. I received the award for…..drum roll please…..cue the trumpets……”Most Likely to Retire Early”.

If you do not believe me, my mother framed the certificate.

Receiving the “Most Likely to Retire Early” award is hands-down my proudest moment.

At a young age I knew the workplace was not for me. I think my coaches knew me too well.

I have no intention of ever going to a nursing home. But, I do have every intention of retiring very early.

Tomorrow is SOLVING THE WORLD PROBLEMS SATURDAY. Get excited. YOU ARE WELCOME.

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