NBC Can Thank Me.

I am sorry for not blogging in forever I have been staring at Ryan Loche’s abs.

Now that the Men’s Swimming Olympic Trials are over I can resume my normal functions.

Some sports on the Olympics are just plain boring. I mean when Michael Phelps or Ryan Locte are not swimming I totally loose interest. I mean what is exciting about watching someone swim a few lengths of a pool.

I am pretty positive I could swim as fast as those swimmers. I placed first in my first swim race ever. I gave up right after, I peaked earlier than most.

Anyway I have discovered how to make Olympic sports more entertaining. NBC will thank me when their ratings go through the roof.

Swimming. Instead of swimming in just a normal Olympic sized swimming pool I have a better idea. I propose filling the pool with leeches, sting rays, piranhas, and electric eels. Think about how exciting it would be. Instead of just swimming, swimmers would have to navigate through the water in hopes of getting the best time and not being bit by leeches, sting rays, piranhas, and electric eels. It is pure brilliance.

Gymnastics. I propose that when someone falters on the beam three times the judges have a button; and when the judges push the button, the beam breaks in half. Therefore eliminating the gymnast from competition. The same could be done on the uneven bars. Also in Men’s Gymnastics they could just cut off one of the rings when the performance gets brutal. On floor exercise if a gymnast makes three hops they take the floor out from under them and they fall into a pit of foam blocks.

That would be kind of fun.

I think my ideas will reinvent gymnastics. Honestly, I am just helping them out. They should thank me.

I have already written about my ideas for revolutionizing track and field. Man eating dogs chasing after the runners to make them run faster. The usual.

NO ONE WILL GET HURT IN THE REINVENTED SPORTS. The man-eating dogs will disappear when they get too close. And the leeches, sting rays, piranhas, and electric eels will vanish on contact. Just the athletes won’t know that.

Anyway, I don’t see the Olympics in my future anytime soon, unless they add a “Spotting Fives” category. For that, I would win gold.

I am sending my ideas to the Olympic Committee. Just wait in four years the newest sport will be, “Extreme Swimming” and “Mind-Boggling Track”, JUST WAIT.

Have a fantasticly wonderful day.

YOU ARE WELCOME.