Diversity Killed the Cat

Hello world.

Okay I am making a resolution to blog at least twice a week starting today.

Yesterday I began working at an unnamed presidential campaign. I am going to keep politics out of my blog. 

I just plan on making fun of both candidates on here.

I was making phone calls at the unnamed presidential campaign.

Anyways, I have never got hung up on so many times in my life.

I had an 80-year-old lady cuss me out.

A 97-year-old lady told me her life story. Her name is Betty, she hates democrats, she has 20 grandchildren, and she likes her eggs scrambled. She was cute.

Four of the people I called were dead. And their families told me to stop abusing them.

One lady told me she was voting for her dog….which with our choice of candidates that might be the smart choice.

When I left the unnamed office, my confidence was a little lower than it was when I started.

Personally, I just don’t see why people don’t read, “How to Rid Your Home of Campaign Callers” (my second blog post) it would be so much more creative. I mean if you are going to hang up on someone do it with flair.

This week Glee returns. I just want to say for the record, I hate EVERYONE on Glee except for Blaine and Kurt. I think they should just cancel Glee and make the Blaine and Kurt show.

SPOILER ALERT: According to sources BLAINE AND KURT ARE BREAKING UP. 

AHERHSLDLSFLSFHNSLIGLDSNFLGBLKCNLSFNLSNG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words cannot describe my emotional distress right now. The episode is entitled “The Break-Up” it’s the forth episode of the season and it is right before a 5 WEEK HIATUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Blaine and Kurt break-up I will gain so much weight. I will redefine obesity. I have no love life so I invest all my emotions in a cute gay-couple on TV.

Okay so the Republicans and the Democrats have now had their respective conventions, so now everyone’s feelings are out in the open.

I thought the debt clock in the Republican convention was a nice touch.

And the whole Clint Eastwood talking to a chair made me feel good about my sanity.

Mitt Romney made some good points, but I really want to do something different with his hair.

Mitt Romney’s sons are total fives. It is too bad they are married and have children.

I don’t quite understand the whole child birth concept. I mean it sounds so painful and all you get is a screaming and crying child out of it. Where is the joy???

If I ever have children, I would adopt. One African American, one Indian, one Asian, one Hispanic, and one white kid. Then I would write a book about raising children of all different races. It could be called, “Brooke’s Children of the Rainbow” or “Diversity Rules: Brooke Style” I might get started on this.

Also I want my kids to go to the Olympics. I really want one of those P and G Thank You Mom commercials.

Some people dream of going to the Olympics, I dream of having a Thank You Mom commercial.

Priorities.

Okay I got side tracked, going back to the political conventions.

I am 99.9% positive I am smarter than Joe Biden. The man doesn’t know what state he is in half the time. He makes millions of dollars a year and gives 1.5% of his income to charity.

Joe Biden is incredibly entertaining though. But, if he was president I think I would move to Canada. I would honestly fear for my own safety.

Obama is a very good speaker. But if he says, “Hope”, “Change”, or “Forward” ONE MORE TIME I am going to throw something.

I like the ties much more at the DNC.

I will leave you all with one last note. This morning I walked in the kitchen to find my parents dancing to One Direction’s, What Makes You Beautiful. In other words, my parents win the Best Parents award hands down.

YOU ARE WELCOME. 

For those wondering if the title of this blog post means anything, the answer is yes. But, I am still working out what it means.