I Can't Breathe Out of My Nose

I haven’t been able to breath out of my nose for two weeks. My mom has been telling me, “Oh Brooke, it will be over tomorrow. It’s a cold it has to run its course.” WHAT A LOAD OF GARBAGE. After 14 days, 12 Kleenex boxes, 3 neti pots, and constant agony, Brooke’s mother took Brooke to the doctor.

It has been one hour and I am feeling better already. One improvement, I can breathe out of my left nostril. That is like walking on the moon in my world.

I would strongly recommend never using a neti pot. I would compare using a neti pot to water boarding.  I have never been water boarded, but I would not be surprised if the United States uses neti pots as torture devices on terrorists. It they don’t they should start.

My social media networks are filled with everyone’s school schedules. I AM FLATTERED THAT YOU WANT TO BE IN A CLASS WITH ME, but seriously if you are still worried about eating lunch by yourself then I think it’s time to take a walk.

In my opinion I think Americans gain more weight during the Olympics then all the holidays for ten years combined. Assuming you are all like me and spent the last two weeks watching hot guys do amazing things while I sat and ate out of the ice cream container, I was too lazy to grab a bowl.

The Olympics. The Olympics has helped me enormously in one category, I have spent the entire Olympics deciding which country my next boyfriend is going to be from.  I am leaning towards either the Australians or the Prince Harry. I also want him to be either an Olympic swimmer, men’s gymnast, diver, Brazilian beach volleyball player, or track and field star. So in other words, I’m not picky.

Gabby Douglas is like the coolest person ever. I am so happy for her. You can tell how genuine she is and she really deserves this. I went to Chows for five years. It took five years but I finally nailed that cartwheel. My mom was Chow’s son’s teacher. And she convinced Chow to get his son a dog. I feel like a celebrity.

Okay everyone spent the entire Olympic Games talking about Ryan Lochte. I don’t see what is so great about him. He is SO cocky, he has a bigger closet than me, and he wears gangster shoes and a grill. I can’t stand him. THE MAN IS 28 GROW UP. He is a two.

Usian Bolt annoys me so much too. He and Ryan Lochte are the text book definition of cocky. I think the United States needs to put millions of dollars into beating Usian Bolt. The United States should not be losing the 100 meters. Especially to Usian Bolt.

The Attitude of the United States:

During the Olympics: “THE UNITED STATES IS GREATEST COUNRTY IN THE WORLD. WE WILL KILL YOU ALL ON THE BATTLEFIELD WITH OUR 10 AIRCRAFT CARRIERS.”

When the Olympics is not going on: “The United States sucks, I am moving to Canada”

PARTY ON.

YOU ARE WELCOME.