Breaking Dawn with my Dad > Prom

My dad and I had a great time watching Breaking Dawn last night. I thought I had seen bad acting in The Notebook. I was wrong.

I am so confused why Bella did not go with Jacob. JACOB IS SO ATTRACTIVE. I do not even care what he got on his ACT. Jacob can turn into a werewolf. Argument over.

Edward watches Bella sleep. Creepy. If someone watched me sleep I would slap them. I do not want people to watch me sleep. No one looks cute when they sleep. Not even me.

I hope everyone had a good time at prom. I hope you did not grind. If you did grind just know you could have done the fox trot, the waltz, or even the lawn mower. I would have done the lawn mower or the fishing stick.

I have had a lot of people ask me to do this. I am going to review Valley’s production of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.

I went to the show last weekend on opening night. I have been going to Valley shows for a while now.

There is one big underlining problem I have had with everything single show I have seen at Valley. There are just too many people.

Seriously, if you are using people to depict seasons instead of backdrops I think that says too many people.

If you stop using turf to depict grass and start using people I think that says there are too many people.

I honestly cannot wait for the day when the human stage is used. That’s right, instead of using a real stage they are just going to pile everyone up and create the human stage. I am pumped.

Just imagine the bios, “I have been a proud stage member for the last four years. And this year I have the honor of being the top of the stage. Bittersweet.”

The acting is all fine and dandy but when you have forty people on a stage I just feel the effect is lost.

Other than that, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe was definitely one of Valley’s better plays. Trust me I would know. I am not going to name plays.

So when the human stage makes its debut please let me know. I want a front row seat.

THE GOOD WIFE SEASON FINALE IS TONIGHT. DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH. If Alicia and Will do not get back together I am going to cry. I am just going to get the elephant in the room out in the open; I watch middle age women shows. I am probably the youngest person in America that watches The Good Wife. And I am proud of it. YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH.

Have a great and fantastical rest of your Sunday. I have prom pictures to creep on.

WARNING: If you post prom pictures I will look at them. If I don’t like your dress just know, I will judge you. Just letting you know.

YOU ARE WELCOME. 

T-MINUS ONE HOUR TO ASK BROOKE TO PROM.

T-MINUS ONE HOUR TO ASK BROOKE TO PROM.

I would like a little notice BUT I can deal.

If the call does not come I am going to watch Breaking Dawn with my dad. Because we are just that cool.

I just burnt my third bag of microwave popcorn. This is getting old. Cooking just does not work out for me.

The Blind Side is on right now. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry.

Crap, already crying.

I made a resolution for this weekend. It is to clean my room and do all my homework by Sunday morning. By looking at the clock right now it is….7:11. I have not started my homework. And my room is not looking any cleaner.

My room. There are really no words to describe how unorganized it is. I found five sticks of deodorant last night. If anyone needs some deodorant feel free to ask. I have plenty. I also found my 

Harry Potter hat from when I was in 2^nd grade. I am going to devote an entire post one of these days to things I find in my room.

I might need more than one post.

SHOUT OUT TO MY AMAZING COUSIN SARAH!!! HAPPY 25^th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! You are a quarter of a century gal!!! All of you should know Sarah is the person who inspired me to start this blog. You should all wish her happy birthday. Don’t party too hard at MIT Sarah. Make sure you don’t break any beakers.

All you prom goers, NO GRINDING FOR YOU. You can salsa, boogie, disco, and so much more.

T-minus 40 minutes left to ask Brooke to prom.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Brooke Problems

I tried to make a video blog today. It did not work. I thought I was recording. Instead I had been talking to a camera for 15 minutes…and it did not record a second of it. Technology and Brooke just do not work out. Brooke problems.

I woke up at nine and thought I was late for school. I started screaming and running around my house attempting to find my backpack. Ten minutes later I remembered there is no school today. Brooke problems.

I was hungry and attempted to make pasta. I forgot I was cooking and watched an episode on Keeping Up with the Kardashians’. Alas, the pasta boiled over. Brooke problems.

My car is still in the middle of my front lawn. My mom had to move it because the construction peeps could not get into the drive way. I still have not moved the car from the front yard. I think I am doing a new feng-shi. Brooke problems.

I walked into my room preparing to clean it. I walked out. It was too overwhelming. Brooke problems.

I did not do YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY because I went to HuHot with my mom and pointed out potential fives. Brooke problems.

Btw: There is a TON of potential fives at HuHot.

Things just happen to me. Next time you think you have problems just pick a random blog post and you can see a Daily Brooke Problem.

Okay some creepy people are emailing brooketheblogger. I DO NOT SOLVE PROBLEMS IN THE BEDROOM WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. I think you should call a therapist.

If you have socially appropriate questions I would be happy to answer them. Email them to brooketheblogger@aol.com

Edge of Glory just came on my shuffle. I need to walk away from this blog post now and just jam.

I was going to come back an continue blogging put Ke$ha just came on shuffle too. Don’t judge.

KEEP CALM AND LOOK FOR FIVES.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

BROOKE FOR PRESIDENT

The amount of MSG I just consumed cannot be healthy. I literally feel like I could get a 36 on the ACT right now.

My future five is better than your future five.

 I am still confused why I have not been asked to prom yet.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SUPER LATE BUT BRAD AND ANGELINA ARE GETTING MARRIED. I hope I am invited to the wedding. It is about time they tied the knot. They have been dating since the dawn of time.

I recently watched The Iron Lady with Meryl Streep. O MY GOSH I want to be president now. BROOKE FOR PRESIDENT. A vote for Brooke is a vote for you.

I will be running under the Brooke party. Being a democrat or a republican is so cliché. I want to go against the grain. The Brooke party believes in: food, importing smart people into American and offering them lots of money, Lady Gaga, One Direction minus Harry, English as the superior language of the world, and having the world’s largest military.

JOIN THE BROOKE PARTY. We can change the name to the something like, the Funktastics or something else fun. Let me know if you have any ideas.

If I had a penny for every time I say “I’m hungry” I would be the richest person in the world. I’m hungry.

And I just ate three bowls of rice.

I am really enjoying Maroon 5’s new song Payphone. I have created so many new dance moves to that song. I have a new dance move called, “The Exploding Book” it is amazing. The Exploding Book is going to be the new form of grinding. No.

For all of you going to prom, I have a message for you. You grind. I lose all respect for you. Why grind when you can Salsa, or even better do the Exploding Book.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Twitter @BloggingBrooke

Questions?? brooketheblogger@aol.com

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY.

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!!

Let the questions begin.

How do you feel about the cuts in the arts program at Valley? The first thing I want to say is I do not know all the facts. What I do know is I do not see how some big programs at my school are going to work with only one teacher. In order to have a competitive arts program programs must be adequately staffed. The class sizes keep getting larger. Understaffing will not solve any problems; in the long run it will just create problems.

What radio station do you listen to the most? Sensai’s radio got taken out because according to my parents I am a “distracted driver”. So I do not listen to the radio.

Best comeback? “I could get mad at you, but instead I will just blog about you.”

Nacho Cheese Dorrities or Cool Ranch? YOU ARE MEAN. I CANNOT DECIDE. Both artificial flavors are fantastic.

Do you like your iPhone? My life has changed. My previous phone was valued at $0. So let’s just say that the iPhone is a step up.

Maroon 5 is literally the soundtrack to my heart. I HEARD ADAM LEVINE IS SINGLE. I would just like to give a shout out to Adam Levine. I am free Saturday.

I learned what LMAO means the other day. Really disappointed. I truly thought is meant love my Aunt Olga.

If I was an animal I would be a dog in America. My dogs have the good life. Sleep all day. Eat. Play outside. No homework. No beauty problems. No stress.

I have been told my writing style is “choppy”. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. I switch between topics faster than I change lanes on the highway. Sorry, there is just SO much to cover. I have to hit everything.

Has anyone noticed that right when school ends all the good shows have their season finales? When I actually have free time to watch T.V, I am stuck watching some rerun. It is annoying. I am writing a letter to NBC.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Before I started blogging I didn't know how to spell Thursday. Just joking. But seriously I just abbreviated it. 

Questions?? brooketheblogger@aol.com

Twitter @BloggingBrooke

LMAO= Love my Aunt Olga

I get the award for worst blogger of the week. But alas, the attractive one a.k.a. Brooke is back.

I was partying at a Model UN conference last week and getting crazy at Solo and Ensemble Contest Saturday. That is my pathetic excuse for not blogging. :(

The weather was just beautiful Saturday. I love thunder storms. Not really. I pretended like I was Harry Potter from book one. You know the scene when Hagrid rescues Harry from the Dursley’s? It was fantastic.

I am the world’s worst texter. I never respond. I do not speak text. When you send me phrases like, “lmao”or “ttyl” I have NO idea what you are saying.

Behold a list of what text abbreviations REALLY mean:

LMAO- Love my Aunt Olga

TTYL- Truck toys you like

PIMP- Peeing in my pants

TMI-Two moldy idiots

WTF- We told father

AFK- I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS.

My point is this: why use weird letter combinations when you can just literally “spell it out” for the person. Or even better call them. That is why I tell people, “You want to talk to me? Call me.”

I missed YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY but here are some questions for today.

What are your thoughts on The Lion King? I honestly have not seen The Lion King in years.

Who is your favorite band/singer? THIS IS SO HARD. I am a total Lady Gaga fan. Maroon 5 and I have a love hate relationship. And of course without questions I am One Direction’s biggest fan.  No. Dream on One Direction, you have yet to earn my seal of approval.

What internet browser do you use? I use Google Chrome when I blog and Firefox for school. Girls got to keep organized. Safari confuses me. And Internet Explorer is ghetto.

What movie cast would be closer to an overall: The Hunger Games or Harry Potter? Harry Potter without a doubt. Only because, I have grown-up with the cast.

What is your best childhood memory? When I was four on Christmas morning I got my Labrador Blitzen. He woke me up by jumping on my bed and kissing me all over my face. My brother and I named him after the reindeer because there were nine puppies in the litter (same number of reindeer) and Blitzen was the runt. It only made sense to name him Blitzen. Even though, I wanted to name him Britney Spears. Not my proudest moment.  Since then my brother and I have convinced our parents to get another dog, Comet. We are sticking to the reindeer thing.

I hope you had a fabulous weekend. And I hope all of you survived the storm last night! Keep listening to One Direction. IF YOU DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE SINGING ONE DIRECTION IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Let me solve your problems. Email me at brooketheblogger@aol.com

Twitter @BloggingBrooke

Hugh has nice abs.

HELLO.

I wanted to add something about One Direction. One Direction has really weird pants. I think it is time for the One Direction boys to be introduced to a belt and a proper pant size.

(INSERT COMMENT ABOUT BIPOLAR IOWA WEATHER…..I WAS WEARING SHORTS YESTERDAY, NOW MY TOES ARE ABOUT TO FALL OFF)

Ahhhhh GLEE RETURNS TONIGHT. And I am going to miss it. I hate being involved.

Okay no one told me The Secret Life of the American Teenager was back. The Secret Life of the American Teenager is by far the weirdest show I have ever watched, but it is so addicting. If you have not started watching DO NOT START. I REPEAT DO NOT START WATCHING THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER. You will become me and no one wants another Brooke in the world. No one.

Can you imagine two Brooke’s in the world? That would be so much fun. We would probably try to kill each other though. Like the Hunger Games.

Anyway, The Secret Life of the American Teenager has the corniest lines in the world. I have never laughed so hard. Every time Amy opens her mouth I lose it. IT IS SO CHEESY. The Secret Life of the American Teenager is almost as good as General Hospital. Almost.

Everyone talks about senioritis no one talks about sophomoreitis. Well today I will. Sophomoreitis is a serious condition.  What happens is the brain totally shuts down. Whenever a teacher talks to an infected person the person responds with “What” or “Is this Earth?” Side effects include: lower grades, failure to study, loss of ambition, dreams of marrying rich, increased food consumption, increased time spent on the porcelain throne, and most importantly spending more time reading Your Daily Dose of Brooke.

I personally do not have sophomoritis.

Oh…one final side effect of sophmoreitis: denial of having sophmoreitis.

Do my homework or Google image Hugh Jackman????

You can guess what I chose.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

P.S. Hugh has nice abs.

Twitter @BloggingBrooke

Questions?? brooketheblogger@aol.com

The Phases of a One Direction Fan

This weekend I went through the stages of a One Direction fan.

Friday Night:

I saw a promo for Saturday Night Live and noticed that five good looking guys would be performing Saturday night. The five good looking guys went by the name One Direction.

I had heard about One Direction before but I had never looked into their music. Friday night I did.

Within fifteen minutes I could not understand why I was not in a relationship with any of the One Direction boys. I am not picky. I like all of the One Direction boys except for Harry. His hair scares me.

After watching all of One Direction’s music videos I wanted to see how they were formed. I then proceeded to watch all of One Directions performances on the X-Factor.

I hit my pillow dreaming of the One Direction boys serenading me. Except for Harry. If Harry was serenading me I would run away screaming. And then I would proceed to get scissors to personally cut his hair.

Saturday Morning:

For some silly reason I woke up at 7-o-clock on a Saturday!!!!!!!!! Instead of doing something productive I watched One Direction interviews!!!

After 20 minutes I was OVER One Direction.

Not joking.

The problem with One Direction is all One Direction does is jump around and sing. Yes, four out of the five guys are attractive. But, in reality the boys look like they are about twelve.

What I really wanted out of One Direction was IN SYNC dance moves!!!!! One Direction fell flat on in sync dancing.

In two days I had gone through the stages of a One Direction fan.  For one night I was planning my wedding with all the One Direction boys, except for Harry. By Saturday morning I was depressed. ALL I WANTED WAS IN SYNC DANCE MOVES. Instead of in sync dance moves One Direction fans get jumping around a stage, touching their heart, and staring longingly at you through the screen.

If you do not believe me, watch two One Direction music videos and you will see exactly what I am talking about.

I am disappointed.

In the end, I still think One Direction has good music. I still think four out of the five guys are attractive. But, they are not fives. Fives do not look like they are twelve. Fives look like they know what they are doing.

My advice to One Direction is: GET YOUR DANCING TOGETHER.

Once One Direction gets their dancing together I will endorse them. Who doesn't want a endorsement from me???

I will hopefully have a post tomorrow, but I definitely will be back Tuesday. Have a good Monday. I would say Happy Monday, but I have already established that Mondays are not happy.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Twitter @BloggingBrooke
Questions? brooketheblogger@aol.com

YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!!

IT IS YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY!!!!! Let the questions commence.

1.      Why do I have to update to Facebook timeline? I have timeline. I hate timeline. How do I go back??? If you don’t have timeline do not get timeline. I really do not want to see pictures of myself from 7^th grade. I would prefer to totally forget about the statuses I posted in 7^th grade as well.

2.       Why aren't stores and coffee shops open 24/7?  Because coffee shops are stupid. Coffee shops should be open 24/7!!!! Everyone should boycott coffee shops that are not open 24/7. My only problem is I do not know where I will get my coffee now.

3.       Is Starbucks evil?  NOOO!!!! Starbucks is fantastic. Last year there was this total five working at the Starbucks down the street from my house. I called him Mr. Starbucks. I also figured out he is a jazz musician. Anyway, he does not work there anymore. So it did not work out. To answer the question, I love Starbucks, I go there like 4 times a week. Last year when Mr. Starbucks was around I went more like every day.

4.      Is American cheese real food?  Of course it is real. Are there chemicals? Yes. I do not know about you though, but if the chemicals make the food taste good, I am totally fine with it.

Have a wonderful and fantastic day!! Send questions to brooketheblogger@aol.com!! I will get to them ASAP.

And remember…FEED THE LIONS.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Twitter @BloggingBrooke

Questions brooketheblogger@aol.com

FEED THE LIONS.

Yesterdaywas my mom’s 50^th birthday!!!!!!!! She has been alive half acentury. She is still telling people she is 39.

I am veryhappy that Kentucky won.

I wasthinking while I watched the game about what coaches say to their playersbefore big games. Not to be mean but some of the coaches I have seen during theNCAA tournament do not look like the most articulate people.

So, I wasthinking, COACHES SHOULD PAY ME TO GIVE THEIR TEAMS INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES. Ithink I would be really good at that. The more $$$ the more I cry, scream,sing, use props, etc. I think I could make a lot of money from this. My signaturephrase will be the one from Miracle onthe Ice, “ We may lose this game 99 time out of 100, BUT TONIGHT WEWIN!!!!!!”

If anyone islooking for someone to give an inspirational speech before I big game, let meknow.

I amstarting a new campaign. This campaign is called, FEED THE LIONS. Some peoplecare about solving world hunger, curing cancer, and making the world greener. I care about FEEDING THE LIONS. Join me.

Why are lionsimportant?

·        

      -    Inthe event of a nuclear war, lions will survive. You may say this is notpossible but the lions will survive. I am picturing a nuclear war and buildingsare blowing up but all a sudden a lion jumps at of the mushroom cloud, all ofthis is going on while Destiny’s Child, Survivor is going on in the background.

·        --       Lionsare the best source of defense. I propose trading all of America’s weapons forlions. I don’t know about you, but having a army of lions running at me wouldbe pretty intimidating.

·         -       Lionsare hungry too.

·         -      Insteadof bombing countries we do not like we should just drop lions on them. And letthe lions deal with the problems. BTW: These lions are immune to traqulizers andcan survive gunshot wounds.

Save thelions. Save the world. FEED THE LIONS.

I amthinking of making a PSA for FEED THE LIONS. Coming soon.

Who is man’sbest friend?

Dog?

A cat?

Goldfish?

No.

Man’s bestfriend is…..

Wait for it….

THE LION.

YOU AREWELCOME.

KEEP CALM AND LOOK FOR FIVES. O AND FEED THE LIONS.

Twitter@BloggingBrooke

QUESTIONS???brooketheblogger@aol.com

The Takeout Review.

Happy Monday!! I hate people who say “Happy Monday!!”NO. I am not happy. I had to wake up before the sun rose today. I had to go to school. And most importantly I am missing General Hospital. I love soap operas.

NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP GAME TONIGHT!!!! AKA NOT DOING MY HOMEWORK. I picked Kentucky to win on my bracket. I have a feeling I am going to be a little richer tonight!!!

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri is the MOST OVERPLAYED SONG. Seriously, every time I turn the radio on that song is playing. WE GET IT YOU HAVE LOVED YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER FOR A THOUSAND YEARS. The point has been made. The song was made for the Twilight movie; therefore I have absolutely NO respect for it. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. The moment you have anything to do with Twilight my respect for you goes out the window.

Btw: Unlike my Hunger Games rant, when I had not read the books. I have read the Twilight books. The Twilight books are a insult to literature. Every time Bella opens her mouth I want to throw the book. Bella is an insult to STRONG INDEPENENT WOMEN EVERYWHERE.

Chipotle is amazing. I have had Chipotle three times in the last seven days. The benefit of living with parents who cannot cook to save their lives is I have become a connoisseur on take out.

Behold my assessment of takeout restaurants.

On the Border
- Two bags of chips and salsa. Chips are always warm.
- Typically 20 minute wait
- Food portions last about 2 days

Olive Garden
- Breadsticks come in a microwave bag. So, breadsticks last a few days. DOUBLE PLUS- the breadsticks always taste fresh.
- Wait is long. Downer.
- In my experience the food is always a little soggy. And does not last.

Jason’s Deli
- Wait 10 minutes tops.
- Portion size, lasts two to three days
- Food is typically good, just do not get the pasta

The Cheesecake Factory
- Wait 20 minutes
- BREAD!!!!! Should last awhile, unless you are like me…and eat it all
- The food as expected is better if you eat at the Cheesecake Factory. Just do not get pasta. Take out pasta is ALWAYS rushed and tastes like my mother’s tater tot casserole. Which by the way, is like eating sadness

Panera
- Food does not last long
- Wait super short
- Always pretty good. I would rate it a 3 out of 5.

If you have any other takeout restaurants you would like me to review please email me! My family would be happy to try it out!!!!!! My mom keeps her sweaters in the oven.

Have a wonderful day!!!! HAPPY MONDAY. I am such a hypocrite.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Twitter- @BloggingBrooke
Email- brooketheblogger@aol.com

HEY HEY HEY.

First things first, kudos to the Spotlights staff; the article was fabulous. I will try to figure out how to post the article on here so all of y’all can read it!

I have a new obsession: Pinterest. I cannot describe what is so addicting about Pinterest. My personal favorites are the Harry Potter pictures.

The word hungry does not even describe how I feel right now. My parents need to go to CostCo more. Either that or I need to restrain myself from eating all the food in my house. My excuse for consuming my body weight on a regular basis is, I am in the middle of a growth spurt. Which is kind of true, I grew ¼ of an inch in the last year.

I would strongly recommend not eating two proteins bars in one day. I would rather not explain what happens. If I were you this might be one of those situations where you should just take my word for it.

Because I missed YOU ASKED IT THURSDAY, I am going to answer some questions today!

1) What animal would you identify yourself with and why? I would identify myself with a dog. Dogs have the best personalities. Dogs are always there when you need them, dogs nap when they want, dogs are protective, dogs are always excited to see you. I personally aim to be more like my dogs.

2) How was The Wizarding World of Harry Potter for you? I went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.  It was the best experience of my life. I can die now. My life is complete. I am still a little confused why I have not received my Hogwarts letter yet.

3) How is your face doing? Still burnt? :) I am working the sunglass tan line. It takes a special type of person to work the sunglass tan line.

4) What would you do for a Klondike bar? If I was in a room full of 100 people and there was only one Klondike bar, I would get the Klondike bar. Will there be casualties? Yes. I will not go into detail on how I will get the Klondike bar, but I can assure you my inner ninja comes out in dire situations.

On a final note, I had a Dorritos Locos Taco from Taco Bell yesterday. It was amazing. My cholesterol will never be the same.

See you tomorrow!! Party like your 99.

YOU ARE WELCOME.